For the Girl who Lost Herself Along the Way
06 June 2017
It was so strong to begin with – that vibrance, that zest for life, powering through your veins and radiating deep in your soul - like crashing waves against the midnight tide – rushing wild, untamed, full of hopes and dreams.
But that light, your fire inside grew timid, as lost dreams and failures crept in, collecting amongst the pieces of your broken heart - with each strike, you hardened.
Yet with wavering optimism and a small heap of hope you pushed through.
That fire, there, only now a soft flicker of its former self - still alive though, burning but wary – cautious and tamed – its safer that way.
Blow by blow, the flame grew thin - quiet, meek, tender, from the worlds callous mark. Your fortress now strong, impenetrable , protecting – no passion, no yearning, no dreaming – equipped only for the harshness of reality.
Now a mere shadow of what you once were, perfectly shielded, but empty.
Its not that you have been unhappy, but rather off – not yourself – not the You, you once remember.
Deep down though, a spark still lingers…you can feel it every now and again.
She’s still in there,
—that heart-illuminating light, that nerve-tempering tranquillity, that mental clarity, that state of flow
The giddiness, the playfulness, the confidence in being you.
And she will come back one day.
This too shall pass – a phase like any other. This is the nature of impermanence – nothing lasts forever.
Reflect on all the other times - when the world crumbled and everything you once thought was true revealed itself - a fraud.
Our realities evolve every moment. Feelings change through the constant ebb and flow that is life.
Our only constant IS change.
Our sentiments will change, our perceptions will shift, but that core, that fundamental you will always be there.
While the external may be forever changing, the internal does not.
Which is why someday you will come back to yourself.
Sure, you will improve, adapt, re-adapt, and shift as time lapses, but who you are will always be with you.
That playful child – that hopeful dreamer is still in you – you may have rocked her to sleep, but she never left you.
So let her wake, because she wants to play again – her dormant fire desperate to burn.
And so vulnerable you may appear, and tested you will be, but that girl, that full-of-love dreamer is there and she will help lead you to where your heart truly wants to go.
You will get there. Not yet, but with time. Someday soon you will be right back in your groove, able to make decisions, able to immerse yourself in the present, while planing for the future - able to let loose, laugh and be a little goofy.
She will come back – YOU will come back to yourself—to who you once were – if you let her. Don’t harden against a flawed world – in hardening to the world, you flaw it further. It is the light - the fire that burns within you - that brings new hope to a broken place.
So open up – and be love, be life, be free – unapologetically you.
You have this one life – so life it as YOU.
Sincerely and with Love,
The girl inside